


What happened, daughter?

by BoreasAnemos



Series: Two Souls and Companions [2]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Awkward Dates, F/M, First Dates, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-05 11:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoreasAnemos/pseuds/BoreasAnemos
Summary: A companion/spin-off story depicting what happened outside the Evas during part of Two Souls run; it outlines how Asuka/Shinji interactions changed under influence of Kyoko and Yui.This story chronologically happens during chapters 5. and 6. of Two Souls.





	1. The first shot

**Author's Note:**

> This story begins somewhere during Chapter 5. of Two Souls.
> 
> Word of warning: The story is canon in regard to Two Souls and may contain some minor spoilers to characters’ actions and motivations; so if you want to preserve Kyoko’s PoV as the dominant one, I suggest refraining from reading this. If not – enjoy the shift in perspective and teenage drama. Be also warned of increased risk of facepalms.

_Saturday evening, Katsuragi residence_

“That. Fucking. Idiot!”

The girl hugged her pillow tightly and murmured the words into it.

It was not that the date was a catastrophe. Far from it. She had a quite good time, despite several minor snags; if she thought of it, it was better than most dates she had since coming here. She would not admit it, but it could even be the best one. Until it came down crashing around her head.

_‘Yay for my love life. Fuck me. People here are so… perverted and uptight at the same time, something I never thought possible, and to what a degree! He was… is… different. And now, even if I managed to force that idiot to take me out, he can’t take the initiative for shit. And he apologises for everything including existing. Hadn’t I stopped him, he’d apologise for apologising…’_

She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes tight.

 _‘Why, idiot-Shinji… why? Why can’t you be like… like…’_ her thought process broke down.

Asuka Soryu Langley, mistress of self-sabotage and champion of mixed messages was trying to figure out what went wrong. Another subject, waiting patiently in the queue, was the decision what she really wanted.

***

The subject of Asuka’s musings was laying in his bed, sleepless and staring at the familiar ceiling. His mind was full of confused thoughts; he felt many conflicting emotions: joy, confusion, slowly creeping panic, confusion, feelings of loss, confusion, guilt, and confusion.

Shinji Ikari, champion of social ineptitude and master of apologies, was trying to figure out where did he go wrong. Another subject, sitting quietly in the corner, was the question what Asuka wanted to achieve by her actions.

***

_Previous Friday; school lunch break_

“Hey, idiot. Got a minute?”

Shinji Ikari, addressed by Asuka in the manner he was used to, raised his head from the notes he was taking to look at Asuka’s form looming over him and his desk. “Yeah? What is it, Asuka?”

“I’ve decided to help you out a little bit” she stated in her usual, confident voice. “Consider it a helpful gesture from a genius-level people person” she grinned.

“Help out?” he blinked. “You mean, with my classes?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, idiot. Raise your market value a little bit. Help you… nah, you’ll see.”

“O…kay?” Shinji was still showing signs of significant confusion. On one hand, Asuka offered help, even if he did not understand in what exactly. On the other, she was acting in her usual haughty and aggressive manner that made him uneasy.

“Great!” she leaned closer and lowered her voice; he reflexively reclined as much as the chair allowed him to and thanked the gods the school uniform did not have any cleavage. “You’re taking me on a date tomorrow. Make it a good one and you’ll be amazed by the results!” she grinned again, whirled in place, and went back to her usual lunch spot with Hikari.

Shinji was left speechless in his seat. _‘Either this is some elaborate way for her to torment me… or I have just slipped into a parallel universe. Perhaps I should question Doctor Akagi on probability of something like that happening…’_

He sighed, his head still spinning.

_‘Because no matter how low it is, it is still higher than zero. And I guess the chance of Asuka being genuinely nice to me is zero.’_

***

_Saturday_

Shinji Ikari was not a stranger to taking risks; while he was not a person to take them recklessly, he was also not someone overly careful. Therefore, he was also no stranger to making mistakes and recognising them. And at this time, as his date with Asuka screeched to an abrupt end, he was painfully aware this was most likely one of his bigger ones.

He was just not sure why did it happen.

It did not start out that bad: once Shinji decided to take his chances, despite his brain telling him this is a bad idea and most certainly a trap, he planned the whole event and asked Asuka – first thing in the morning once Misato was out of earshot and off to work ‘to deal with mountain of paperwork’ – whether 4 p.m. was fine with her – and she confirmed.

First snag happened when Asuka emerged from her room, all dressed up for a date. Shinji, in his usual white-shirt-black-pants-polished-boots attire, had frozen in reaction to the sight. It was not that Asuka was overdressed – but he realised he never saw her in this particular dress before and she did look stunning. And he never saw her wearing proper, if delicate, make-up.

“Oi, idiot. Forgot how to speak Japanese?” she poked at him.

A more experienced person would most likely turn it to their advantage, quipping about “the wondrous sight rendering them speechless” or another cheesy, but flirtatious and engaging line. Unfortunately, Shinji Ikari could not be considered experienced in human interactions by any means of measure, even considering his age bracket.

Thus Asuka, after waiting for nearly a minute for the expected compliment, rolled her eyes and grumbled: “Ready to go? Or are you going to keep admiring me from across the room?”

Shinji shook himself back to consciousness. “S-sorry. Ready, let’s go.”

Asuka sighed. _‘Well, it can go only up from this kind of start, right?’_

Soon she was to realise that the proper term would actually be “uphill”.

***

Second snag hit when Asuka realised what movie they were going to.

It was especially jarring after a hope spot provided by the dinner. The meal was a modest one, but Asuka was not a person that would expect Shinji to take her to an expensive restaurant; it was not the point nor the problem – the food was decent, and it was just the part of the date ritual. The fact that their conversation over the food felt a little bit forced in the beginning was only a minor nuisance that spoiled her mood for a relatively short time – she soon realised Shinji was a good listener, and she always had something to say on every subject.

“’Fantastic singles and where to find them’? What are you, stupid?” Asuka looked at Shinji with disappointment in her eyes.

“But… I thought…” he stammered out.

“A romantic comedy? Really?” she shook her head and sighed.

“If you don’t like it, we can go see something-“ Shinji slipped into his defensive stance.

“It’s. Fine.” Asuka replied, rolling her eyes. “Don’t get worked up in knots.”

Shinji turned away and mumbled something.

“If you’re saying you’re sorry, I am going to kill you right now”, Asuka warned in irritated tone, ignoring his clenched fists. “Come, I don’t want to be late for the trailers.”

He did not move. She poked him in the shoulder blade. “Come, idiot. I’m giving y-it a chance.”

Shinji took a moment to follow her; he wanted do make sure his tears were not visible. His thoughts went along the line of _‘I’m giving her what she wanted, aren’t I? What am I doing wrong?’_. To that, he had no answer.

***

The killing blow came when they left the movie theatre.

“I was expecting a movie with such colourful title to be a little more… I don’t know, creative?” Asuka mused. Her expression was difficult for Shinji to read at the moment. This probably came from the fact that he rarely saw her in mode different than ‘angry’ or ‘indifferent’.

“Sorry”, he reacted reflexively “I thought you would like it, it had good reviews, it sounded like a good idea for-”

Asuka turned to him abruptly. She opened her mouth and closed it immediately, her teeth clenching and eyes closing shut. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Never mind, I will survive”, she muttered, opening her eyes. “What now?” she looked at him with cheer that most people would recognise as forced.

Shinji missed that little fact. “I-if you didn’t enjoy it-” he tried again, his panic rising.

“Cut it, idiot. I’m **fine** ”, she insisted. “What now?”

“I…” Shinji’s brain decided it was a good moment to go on full autopilot to weather the storm, which is, as any pilot would tell you, not the best idea. “I’m sorry, I-“

“ **Stop it** ” Asuka growled through her clenched teeth. For some reason she could not understand, her vision was turning blurry. “Stop being such a wet-”

Obviously, another “I’m sorry-” was the worst possible thing to say in this very moment. But it was also the first that came to Shinji’s mind, still operating on autopilot. Thus, he said it without thinking.

Asuka’s hand curled into claws and a series of emotions flashed on her face: anger, disappointment, exasperation, irritation, and finally resignation. She mumbled an angry “oh, fuck it, I’m done”.

She then turned her voice to the sweetest and highest-pitched tone she could muster: “Thank you very much for the evening, it was lovely a date. But it’s getting a bit late. I think I will head home now. See you, darling!”

She turned on the spot and walked out as fast as she could without running.

Shinji stood there alone for a long time before he sank on one of the couches, bereft of any will to move. People were passing him, paying him no attention. He only moved when cinema staff approached him to make sure he was still alive.

***

Shinji reached Misato’s apartment late – he was in no hurry, after all – and noticed the familiar and dreaded smell: Misato was making dinner.

“Oh, hello Shin-cha-” she stopped in her tracks, seeing his face. “What happened? Are you all right?” she asked in concerned tone, rushing to him.

Shinji shook his head and averted her eyes. “I’m… fine. I think. I will be. Just a bad day” he replied, his voice just above a whisper. He sounded tired, even exhausted. “Is Asuka back?”

“Yes, she’s in her room, she said she needed to study…” Misato replied, missing the small expression of relief on Shinji’s face. “Are you sure you’re okay? I made some dinner if you’re hungry, I tried to go easy on spices…”

Shinji shook his head. “No, thank you Misato. I’ll… I’ll just go to bed early.”

Misato nodded. She knew she should ask some questions, perhaps get to the bottom of things – but she was too tired to do that. The boy was somehow sadder than usual, yes, but didn’t teenagers suffer from mood swings all the time? _‘He’ll be fine, I’m sure. Now, let’s finish this damned diner, open the well-deserved beer, and poke Asuka that she should eat something, lest she never catches up with me!’_

***

_Later that evening_

Asuka shut the door to her room and leaned against them. Misato’s cooking was never good, but it was passable this time. Still, it was a far cry from the wonders Shinji created every time it was his turn to cook – which was most of the evenings.

But this time he was not even at the table. _‘He said he was tired and apologised for not being able to cook or even be a good company’_ , Misato said. Asuka stomach clenched when she heard that. She knew well there was far more to this than just ‘tired’; she beat down a creeping feeling of guilt that slowly grasped her chest. Instead, she dug into the food, hoping that the pain and suffering caused by their guardian’s cooking will turn her attention elsewhere. And it did – for a little while. She rushed through her evening routine, ignoring Misato drinking herself to sleep. And now, she was finally safe in her room, alone.

She realised a bit too late that it also meant ‘alone with her thoughts’.

She sat herself at her desk and tried to distract herself, to calm her mind, to ease that feeling of guilt grasping her. A book she wanted to finish and return to Hikari. A manga she found funny just a few days ago. Some gaming magazine she bought yesterday. Still, her thoughts kept drifting to that scene: to her impatience, to his indecision, to her outburst, to his retreat, to her annoyance, to his indecision, to her mocking voice…

To his face. To his face that for a second looked like she had slapped him. The more she recalled that image, the more she felt like she kicked a puppy. A friendly, clumsy puppy that only wanted to be a good company, that for some reason could not be up to the task – but was doing his best…

She shook it off for a moment. She changed into the oversized t-shirt she slept in, removed the connectors with increasingly shaking hands, brushed her hair ineptly, and dropped onto her bed.

A sob shook her body and a sudden feeling of revulsion towards her own behaviour rose inside of her. She grabbed a pillow to muffle the sound and hugged it tightly.

“That. Fucking. Idiot!”


	2. Taking the lead: the first time

“Distance is approximately 25000”

“Here it comes. All Evas, start positions”, Katsuragi ordered. All Evangelions dropped to one knee in response; Shinji held his finger on the cable ejection button.

“All we have is a roughly estimated trajectory from optical sight-“

“Oh. Shit”, Doctor Akagi’s voice came in the background, loaded with dread.

“What is it?” Katsuragi turned her attention away from the pilots.

“This… I… MAGI estimates have changed…” Ritsuko’s voice betrayed she was on a verge of panic. There was a moment of silence as the comms were cut.

Shinji clenched his teeth. This was not good.

Seconds passed. He looked up at the ball of fire, rapidly approaching the surface. Suddenly he realised he knew where it was likely to impact.

“Misato?” he called, his tone uncertain.

“Stand by”, came a reply in a perceptibly shaking voice. He did not like that shakiness. Something was telling him the command centre was not going to be much of a help.

“It’s going to hit soon, we can’t wait!” he called out in unusually stern voice, much to his surprise.

“Stand by”, the reply was even shakier. _‘They won’t have it in time’_ , a thought came to him. _‘It’s up to me and me only. I must lead them’_ , another followed.

“Damn it! It’s coming closest to me! I’m taking the lead!” he shouted over the comms, at the same time starting to run towards the growing fireball. The ground began to shake.

“Finally, for once…”, Asuka spoke up in vitriolic tone as she ejected the umbilical cable from Unit-02 and started her own run scant two seconds later.

“What was that supposed to mean?” he asked in annoyed voice, speeding up.

“That you could man up once in a whi-“ Asuka tried to reply, only to be cut by Misato’s angry voice.

“Shinji! Asuka! What are you doing?”

“Misato, I see where it will hit, trust me!”, Shinji replied with certainty that surprised even him.

“Major Katsuragi, your orders?” Rei Ayanami requested, showing hints of confusion.

“Damn it”, came a barked reply, followed by a few seconds of silence. “Rei, assist them. Shinji, I rely on your judgement.”

“Roger that”, Rei and Shinji replied in near-unison.

“Misato!” in Ritsuko’s voice was the last sound that came from the command centre before the comms were cut again.

Unit-00 started its sprint towards the point Unit-01 had marked on the map.

***

The command centre was silent, save for the beeps of the machinery and single voice calling the distance.

“Distance 12000… Distance 10000… Distance 8000…”

***

Asuka’s face was grim and determined, her will focused on one thing: getting there. She refused to acknowledge the fact that there was no way she would be there in time to catch it. The ground was breaking under her feet as she ran towards it, the cars were being flung aside, the buildings broke from the sheer force of her movement.

***

“Distance… zero?”

The entire remaining NERV staff realised they were holding their breaths. By all conceivable metrics, they should currently be in the middle of the process of being vaporised by high-velocity, AT Field assisted impact of an Angel.

But for some reason, it was not happening.

***

The Angel-turned-fireball was hanging scant metres from the ground, just above a hill, held up by an increasingly visible barrier. Shinji’s words were punctuated by gasps. “I… will… not… let… you… kill…”

Asuka kept running, straining Unit-02 muscles beyond their safety limits; needles of pain were shooting through her legs and she was aware that she was most likely damaging the Evangelion. Making out the silhouette of Unit-01, she dimly thought it resembled some sculpture she saw recently… or maybe some mythical figure?

There was no time to think of it. There was team morale to be upheld. “Don’t you dare die there, idiot!” she yelled angrily just before reaching Unit-01.

Unit-02 threw her hands up and extended her own AT Field. The strain on Unit-01 lessened visibly, but this only levelled the playing field; the Angel continues to press on, its unrelenting eyes staring unblinkingly on those who dared deny it its prize.

***

“Unit-01 and Unit-02 on the impact site. Unit-00 approaching”, a tense voice of Maya Ibuki reported.

“Do we have any visual?” Misato inquired, her voice equally tense.

“None, any sensor that was out was fried few seconds after the AT Fields collided”, Maya replied.

“Hold on there, kids… it’s all in your hands”, Misato whispered.

***

“Wondergirl, would you please hurry a teeny bit up? It’s getting a little bit heavy”, Asuka stated, somewhat panicked tone contrasting the flippant wording.

“Incoming. Field at maximum on arrival” came the dissonantly serene voice of Rei Ayanami. The twenty seconds it took Unit-00 to join the fight felt like an eternity both pilots who were holding the sky from falling on their heads.

Once it did, Unit-01 let go of the sky and started to tear into the AT Field of the Angel. Seconds later, Asuka screamed and grasped the knife, going for the opening Unit-01 created. The unblinking eye of the alien abomination cracked and bled unholy ichor; the AT Field it generated suddenly disappeared.

“All to me, keep the AT Fields close!” shouted Shinji over the comms a second later. Asuka, to her surprise, obeyed instinctively. She pulled Unit-00 with her and hugged Unit-01 tightly.

Darkness and pressure surrounded them for a moment, followed by a blinding blast and wave of heat, perceptible despite the AT Fields.

***

“I believe we have survived” a dispassionate voice commented. Evangelion systems permitted audio signals only in the reserve power mode.

“Yes, I think so… it still hurts” groaned a boy’s voice.

“Hey, be glad, idiot, that means you get another chance”, grumbled Asuka. “But, in the meantime, **could you get off me?** ”

“It’s not that I can move-” Shinji protested.

“But you could-” Asuka tried to say something, but seemingly lot the track of thought for a moment.

“Asuka?” Shinji probed after several seconds of silence.

“ **What?** Why are you suddenly so concerned?” Asuka barked back, her voice dripping with venom. “You want to protect me? Very noble of you, very **manly** of you, someone who could not even man up enough to-”

The comment was cut short, but the line was still open for few more seconds before going silent.

“Asuka?”

“Pilot Soryu has deactivated her communication unit, Ikari. I believe it was deliberate”, Rei chimed in, her voice impassionate as usual.

Shinji blinked. “But… why?”

“Unknown. It is unusual of her to interrupt her own aggressive reply.” Rei’s voice remained unchanged despite forming something that could be, by her standards, considered a joke.

Shinji chuckled.

“Well, I guess it’s just two of us now, waiting to be rescued”, he quipped.

“Yes.”

The silence that fell after that was only a little awkward.

 


	3. Taking the lead: the second time

_A day after the battle with Sahaquiel_

“Hey, idiot.”

Shinji cowered under Asuka’s scrutiny. “Y-yes?” he replied meekly. “Is something wrong with your bento?”

Asuka stared at him for a moment, her face expression inscrutable. _‘Really? I approach him as usual, and he immediately thinks I’m hostile? That I have a complaint?’_

She shook herself out of it – _‘not the time to ponder it’ –_ and lowered her voice. “No, it’s fine, as always, and don’t act as if I was about to kill you. I… I know I wasn’t very helpful last time, okay?” she paused and sighed. “I wouldn’t mind if you… well, if we did it again.”

Shinji processed the thought for a while. “You mean the… date?”

“No”, Asuka’s voice quickly became irritated. “I mean being squashed by an Angel and your Eva again, it was a re-ally cosy feeling”, she blurted out in a vitriolic tone, paused, closed her eyes, and sighed. “Of course I mean the date” she shot her eyes open and glared at him as if she was questioning his intelligence. Which, at this moment, she indeed was.

“But you said it was… bad? You r-” he stopped, encountering the Death Glare. “You left… displeased. Annoyed. Ang-”

Asuka rolled her eyes, then fixated them on him, stopping his words right there. She seemed to ponder her options for a moment, finally deciding that she has used enough verbal violence for one meeting.

“Then make sure it is not _that_ bad again, all right? It’s not **that** hard, idiot.”

Shinji watched her walk away back to her friends. His heart was racing, and his mind was more than a little confused. On one hand, this meant he did not screw up as bad as he thought he did; she was willing to give him another chance. On the other, this was an easy way to repeat the failure that the previous date turned to; not to mention, this could be some trick for her to take revenge for a wasted Saturday.

On the third hand, she did not seem vindictive. In the past, she would not approach him at all, or perhaps limited herself to mocking him. This time, she could even be called forthcoming and helpful – in comparison, of course.

He sighed heavily, forgetting the bento in front of him. _‘I could use some advice… but from whom? Toji and Kensuke are out of the question unless I want a lot of questions and no advice… I could ask Hikari, but I guess that’d mean mostly comments about propriety and ‘being too young’, not to mention she could tell Asuka…’_ he pondered. _‘Misato, perhaps?’_

For a moment, he was considering whether the currently-single, alcohol-driven, kind-of-immature Major was really his best bet in seeking relationship advice, but after going through his list of options, two remained: Misato… and Rei. He decided, based on his intuition, that Misato was likely to have more experience.

He was, obviously, not mistaken. But he was also not prepared for things to come.

***

“… and this is how you put it on”, Misato reached for a banana to illustrate her lecture.

Shinji was just sitting there, eyes wide, face burning red. _‘It’s good my ears are not touching anything. I think they are beyond ignition temperature for my clothing…’_ a somehow absurd, stray thought came to his mind, making him aware that he was prepared for the incoming physics test on thermodynamics.

This all started when he had asked her an innocent question: “How to make a date work?” While he did get some useful advice – which explained why his choice of the movie was poor (“Asuka might be a teenage girl, but not all of them enjoy romantic comedies – I think they’re stupid, for example”) and that they should start with the movie, not the dinner (“You have something to talk over the dinner, and even if you don’t, it’s a great conversation starter!”), he also got an amount of teasing about his feelings towards Asuka – and then, The Talk, or, as Misato described it, “an precautionary instruction in case my advice works well, which I am sure it will”. His protests that they both were far too young for that were silenced by Misato’s claims to know enough about teenagers to know better. His only grace was the fact that Asuka was away due to some business with her friends, so he did not have to suffer her teasing in addition to the mortification of The Talk.

On the good side, Misato promised to be discreet about his questions, or actually not to even mention they took place – assuming Asuka ever asked. He knew this was a blessing, and the knowledge he was receiving would be useful in the future.

This did not change the fact that Shinji would actually prefer facing Sachiel again than to sit here right now and watch Misato demonstrate her great skill in applying a condom to the banana. Her frank and clinical explanation of most common problems that may occur, accompanied by a list of solutions to them did not help.

“… and in that drawer – the second one from the bottom – is the condom stash, should you need one in an emergency. But I’d rather you buy them on your own, consider it a test for your maturity and readiness, okay?”

Shinji nodded, his face still burning. “Misato…” he paused. “Thank you for all the explanation… but I really don’t think all this will be necessary. We’re fourteen and-”

Misato raised her eyebrows and stared at him with clear doubt in her eyes. “Fourteen is enough for hormones to go wild. I hope it will not be necessary, yes, I am actually counting on your reason and self-discipline here. Yours more than Asuka’s, I think. But if you both get carried away… let’s say I’d rather have you prepared than caught with your pants down”, she chuckled at her own joke.

Shinji nodded carefully. “Yes, Misato. Sorry to take your time with that.”

Misato stared at him for a moment, then waved her hand dismissively. “No worries. It’s my duty as a guardian!” She smiled broadly, then her face turned thoughtful. “I guess Asuka should get her talk sooner than later…”

It took her a moment to realise Shinji was trying to get her attention. “Yes, Shin-chan?”

“Could you please wait with it for a few days? I don’t want it to be too obviously connected?” he pleaded, his face still showing embarrassment.

“You think? Hm, maybe” she paused, doubt in her voice. “But only if you promise not to do anything she’d have to be prepared for on the next date. Can I have your word on that?”

Shinji nodded. “If my word is enough, then yes, I promise”, he smiled.

Misato smiled back. “It is. Good boy. And now, could you start with the dinner? I’m getting hungry… unless, as long as we are on the topic, you want to know something more?”

Shinji shook his head vehemently. “Misato, you already told me **far** more than I wanted to know!” he protested.  “Thank you, there’s no harm to knowing, but please, don’t add anything to this”, he smiled sheepishly. “I’m going to make dinner”, he added and headed to the kitchen.

Misato pulled a beer she stashed underneath the table. She emptied the can in two moves, feeling like she deserved it. She managed not to show it, but this has been the most stressful talk she had in the last few weeks, beating most debriefings with Gendo. And she knew The Talk with Asuka could be even more difficult. With that thought, she headed to the fridge for another beer.

***

_Next Sunday evening_

_‘Fuck. Me.’_

Asuka’s head met the desk for the first time.

_‘It was going **so well** …’_

_***_

_Earlier that day_

The beginning was, as previously, uneventful. Shinji discreetly followed Misato advice and got tickets for an early afternoon movie – this time, taught by experience, he chose something with a very innocent title and good reviews: “Cottage in the Forest”. Shinji did miss one detail, though.

It was a horror movie.

It did not seem like this for the first twenty minutes. The plot was kind of sensational, kind of mystery, kind of teenager movie. And then the monsters emerged.

Shinji suddenly realised this could either go very well, or – knowing his luck – go very poorly. With his brain busy following the plot, seeing all the dark scenarios, and worrying in general, he missed the small fact that Asuka was _grinning_. Not overtly so, but anyone paying attention to her could easily tell she was enjoying herself.

***

Another jump scare would have probably just startle Asuka a bit, as it was exactly that: just another one. But this one came with a far stronger shock to her system: Shinji grabbed her hand, squeezed it, clearly in fear, and then let go, clearly embarrassed.

_‘Oh my. Perhaps I should get my hands on some old classic to watch at home and see him react like that even more? Great Invincible Shinji, scared? That’s a new one!’_

That made her smirk; a moment later this smirk turned into a confused smile. _‘ **Why** do I want him to do this?’_

She found no answer to that, at least not any she would consciously accept. So she went with: _‘Hah, of course. Because I’m braver than he is, and he knows that!’_

Satisfied with solving the problem, she returned her attention to the screen, just to facepalm as another protagonist met his grisly death in an extremely obvious and avoidable trap.

***

They left the movie theatre feeling a little bit awkward, with Shinji silently leading to a pizza place. After some discussion they managed to place their order, agreeing it should not be with hot sauce but taking far too much time to discuss the toppings. Taking a seat in the corner, Asuka smiled internally: _‘So far, so good. Let’s hope this goes well-’_

“Asuka…” Shinji started. _‘Uh-oh.’_

“Mm?” she shook herself from the pondering. _‘Okay, you got this, you’re supposed to talk during the date. It’s just his usual meek self.’_

“Sorry for the movie, I was sure it was something far more… innocuous” Shinji tried to explain himself.

Asuka took a deep breath, released it, and repeated the procedure several times.

“Will you ever learn not to apologise? It was…” she hesitated. “It was better than the previous choice, okay? Besides, I might not love horror movies, but it was not really scary”, she half-smiled.

“Oh, I was worried-”

“That you endangered my feminine innocence and scarred me for life? Please, Third.” _‘I was **startled** , that’s different from scared, right?’ “And _**you** grabbed **my** hand **twice**. What was it? Were **you** scared?” she leaned towards him, smirking.

Shinji’s face turned red. “I was not-” he protested meekly, fully aware he was not fooling anyone. Still, he was kind of smiling.

“Oh, **that** was a sight, believe me: great invincible Shinji, scared like a little girl. I really thought you would just run away!” She laughed out loud. Small mercy was that the words were kept at the tone of their conversation and no one else heard them; still, they were more than enough to make Shinji’s expression drop. He clenched his teeth and managed to maintain a stoic face, but his whole posture screamed about how hurt he was.

Asuka caught this sight in the corner of her eye and suddenly stopped laughing. Two thoughts mixed in her head: _‘Come on, fight back, it was beginning to be fun!’_ and _‘Oh damn, did I just fuck it up? No, no, no, no, tell me I didn’t!’_

***

Asuka’s head met the desk for the second time.

_‘I’m not saying he is not cute with his ‘little puppy’ personality, especially that he showed teeth several times already. It’s… just… so…’_

She sighed heavily, ignoring the tears pooling slowly in her eyes. She was too angry to cry yet. She was not sure at whom was this anger actually directed: at Shinji, or at herself.

_‘He’s just **so** … fuck, I can’t even name it. He’s so… **Shinji-like**. I could apply him to a third-degree burn and it would start healing, but if I tried to hammer a nail with him, he’d apologise to the nail first…’_

She paused.

_‘Okay, now I’m just thinking nonsense. What can I do with him? He is so sensitive, so empathetic that I feel like I can hurt him by looking at him the wrong way. How was I supposed to know this was a sore spot?’_

She sighed again, shaking her head.

_‘He wants me, yes – no wonder, who wouldn’t – and I wouldn’t mind dating him… but not like this! Not when I have to watch every word, not when-’_

Her fists clenched.

_‘-not when he is so tense.’_

The memories of the date’s sad conclusion flooded back.

***

_‘I guess this one is shot dead’_ was Asuka’s realisation when their food arrived soon after. _‘Why is he so sensitive… God above, this is so stupid… why a comparison to a girl would make him clam up?’_ she sighed.

_‘Let’s see if I can salvage it. I don’t think this is how it’s supposed to work… but hey, this idiot would be lost without me.’_

“Hey, i-Shinji. Didn’t that werewolf look little stuffed to you?” Asuka poked.

“I guess… but some other monsters were quite fine, I think…” he replied in a soft, cautious tone and twitched a bit.

“And what you think of the final sequence? That red button was a bit cliché, right?”

“Y-yes. And it was a little too bloody for my taste”, he admitted.

“Hey, the movie’s over, there’s no reason to still be on the edge, ready to run, you know?” Asuka blurted out. When the last words left her mouth and she noticed changes in his face, her brain lit up with red lights, most of them saying “POSSIBLE HUGE MISTAKE”. It was, of course, too late to take it back. All was left was to hope her jab would stir him into action and make him push back.

Of course, she could equally well expect him to spontaneously transform into a short-haired version of Rei. It would have about the same probability.

“I… I know. I won’t run” he replied, his voice small.

Asuka could swear she heard the sound of a heavy shell closing. This was still the same Shinji, but what she saw a few minutes ago and this… well, those were two different people. Annoying as it was, she saw the current version more often, but definitely preferred the open one.

She stared at him. _‘What should I do now, use a crowbar? No, too likely I’d beat him to death with it.’_ She sighed. There were several things she could try… _‘But judging by my current luck and his attitude, after her next attempt, this idiot would be crying in the corner and the pizza place would be burning to cinders around us. No, fuck that. I guess we’re not… what’s the word? Compatible?’_

She sighed again. There was a nagging voice in the back of her head telling her she is wrong on that matter, but she was simply too tired. She returned to her food.

For some reason, the previously-delicious pizza now tasted like ashes.

***

Asuka Langley-Soryu and Shinji Ikari were walking fast, trying not to look at each other. The situation has been already awkward, but in contrary to most people whose date has gone sour, they could not simply separate: they were living under one roof, after all.

Asuka stopped in the shadow several metres from the door to Misato’s apartment; Shinji followed suit.

“Okay” she took a long breath. “I guess I owe you an apology. This whole thing was a bad idea” she finally stated. “No more dates, ever. To make it easy for you, let’s say I will murder you – painlessly, out of my goodwill – if you try to ask me again. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Asuka” he nodded. “Sorry about it all”, he added.

“… and I may murder you creatively and inventively if you don’t stop apologising all the damn time. Understood?”

“Yes, Asuka. So-” he stopped himself under a death glare.

She sighed. “All right. Let’s go home. I just hope Misato’s out or asleep, so I don’t have to listen to her stupid comments.”

The door opened with a soft hiss. She entered the dark apartment. Shinji, dejected but resigned to the situation, followed her, hoping for the rest of the night to be uneventful.

And, for once, his wish was fulfilled.

***

Asuka’s head met the desk for the third time and remained there.

_‘He is so stupid! He didn’t even question my ‘no more dates’, he didn’t even try to fight for me! He just stood there, with this kicked puppy face!’_

She shivered at the memory. She really felt increasingly horrible. He **was** doing his best, it just did not work twice. A thought that she was at least partially to blame in both cases did not occur to her, though.

_‘What I am to do, push him against the wall and kiss him? He’d likely think this was an accident, or react in some random way! Grab his hand and make him touch me? He’d be apologising for inconveniencing me, expecting to be hit, and then he would clam up again. He is sometimes so deeply in denial of the fact that if he went deeper into it, I’d call him Sobek! And then he’d miss the joke! Even if I…’_

A thought struck her. A stupid, absurd, insane, idiotic, wonderfully simple thought. She barely contained herself and almost cried out loud. _‘God above, I’m a genius!’_

She scrambled to her feet, then stopped herself mid-stride. _‘No, not here, not now. He’d panic. He’ll think it’s some trick. Let him cool down. In a day or two… yes, he will not even see it coming!’_

She giggled, thinking of the perfection of her plan.

_‘Maybe, maybe, **maybe** I can make it work…’_


	4. “No more dates!”

_Next Friday, school afternoon_

“Hey, idiot. You, me, Sunday, the mall”, Asuka ambushed Shinji in an empty school corridor and rattled all the words in two seconds while pinning him to the wall with her forearm against his chest.

Shinji blinked. “Wha-”

“Yes or no?” she stared at him, her eyes narrowed.

“Y-yyes?” he managed to stutter out. Asuka, noticing his difficulty breathing, lessened her pressure and let him detach himself from the wall. “B-but you said ‘no dates anymore, ever’? And ‘I will murder you inventively if you try to ask me out again’?”

“What makes you think this is going to be a date?” she asked offhandedly, studying her nails intently.

“You just asked-” he started.

She turned to him and focused her blue eyes on him, transfixing him and pinning him to the wall far more effectively than with her arm.

“This. Is. Not. A. Date. You didn’t ask me out, did you? We go to the mall, we spend time there, we try to enjoy ourselves, maybe see a movie, maybe eat something, then we go home. Is. That. Clear?”

“Yes?” Shinji’s brain, this time, decided there was absolutely nothing to apologise for, thus he used option #2: cautious agreement.

“Great. We leave at three. Don’t be late” she added while walking away.

The utterly confused Shinji was left alone in the school corridor. “What just happened?” he asked the empty walls.

***

_Saturday_

“Hey, Asuka, are you possibly free tomorrow?” Hikari inquired, catching Asuka between the sweeps of the corridor.

“Mm? I’m kind of busy, pilot business, why?” Asuka replied in a slightly tense tone. _‘Technically correct, the best kind of correct!’_

“Oh. I’d have a small favour to ask of you, but if you’re busy… can you hold your next Sunday open for me?” Hikari requested, her voice mode rapidly approaching pleading, an unusual contrast to her barking of orders she presented in front of the class.

“For you? You’re planning some girl’s day out?” Asuka raised her eyebrow.

“I mean… a friend of my big sister Kodama is insisting that I introduce you to him…” Hikari trailed off, unsure.

“I’ll… think about it, okay?” Asuka’s expression showed barely contained disgust at the idea and her voice expressed it more clearly than she might have wished for. “Can’t make promises, though” she added in the same tone.

“But… you said you’re not dating anyone… so I thought you would welcome…” Asuka’s glare stopped Hikari’s words.

“Does this mean I have to meet anyone that says they want to?” her voice raised only minutely, but it was enough to make Hikari twitch a bit. “I’m tired of all those love letters and invitations, you know. All those pervs and useless people”, she huffed.

“But…” Hikari tried once more.

“Hikari, I said I’ll think about it and I will”, Asuka sighed. “You caught me by surprise, all right?”

“… thank you.”

***

_Sunday evening_

Asuka Langley-Soryu and Shinji Ikari were walking slowly, like they had all the time in the world. It was very different from the times when they were returning from school: it was usually far more hectic, them just to get home. But this… this was something else.

Asuka was almost done with her waffle, a final treat she has gotten herself just before the food stall closed. Shinji was walking along, watching her in the corner of his eye; to his bemused eyes, she seemed… content? Maybe even happy?

He tensed a bit. This entire not-a-date has been fun once he overcame the initial confusion.

***

_Earlier that day_

Asuka emerged from her room wearing jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt; a small red backpack with some danglers was hanging from her shoulder. She glanced at Shinji, who wearing his unusual white-shirt-black-pants attire.

“Ready?”

He blinked when he noticed her. “Ah. Yes.”

She tilted her head. “Not happy about a prospect of hanging out?” she looked at him inquisitively.

He shook his head. “Sorry. Just… thoughtful. I talked to my father today… it’s rarely pleasant.”

“Your-ah” Asuka’s face became slightly pale, then her face turned slightly red when she realised what day was today. “Listen, if you don’t want to go-” she started quickly.

He shook his head again. “No, it’s fine”, he smiled a small smile. “If I stay, I’ll be sitting here and thinking too much. And…”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yes?”

“You said something about ‘enjoying ourselves’, right?” his smile grew a bit wider. “And I’m holding you on your word.”

Asuka blinked. She wanted to crack some comment in the vein of ‘who are you and what did you do to Shinji Ikari?’, then decided to bite her tongue. Her jokes brought the last attempt low; time for them will come, someday, maybe even today, but not at this very moment.

_‘Stupid me, forgetting the anniversary of his mother’s death… Let’s not make it a mess, shall we?’_

***

Once they were on their way, Shinji – feeling relaxed, to his surprise – raised the subject on their school being refurbished after under the pretence of fixing some Angel-caused damage.

“Well, it’d be nice if the paint stopped flaking, but really, they could’ve picked something _nicer_ than _dull grey_ and _shitty brown_ , don’t you think?” Asuka complained.

“You know the school looks should help us focus, not distract us?” Shinji raised his eyebrows. “If they painted it red, it would certainly match your hair, but would make us too angry to actually do something, like the bull cape.”

Asuka sighed. “Bulls are colour-blind. It’s not red that makes them mad, it’s the movement. And okay, I’m not saying _red_. But some livelier green, or maybe some yellow? Come on, it looks like some museum or a **tomb**. What’s the message? ‘Bury your aspirations, ye who enter here’ or ‘shitty atmosphere, get used to it’?”

Shinji knew Asuka made jokes from time to time. His problem was that he never knew **when**. Seemingly, he had to take a chance here. “Well, the first one could kind-of fit, from the European point of view, the Japanese education system is a little bit oppressive. And the second… when was the last time you were able to use the lavatories on the 3rd floor without gagging from the smell?” he smiled with a hint of insecurity.

Asuka chuckled. “Well. You do have a point. But why advertise it so much?”

“Well, if they painted it green, you’d associate it with jungle, wouldn’t you?” his smile grew a little bit more confident.

This was the first sign that something was really off: they were having a civil conversation on a subject they disagreed on – and Shinji was not on edge. Neither of them noticed that – they were enjoying each other’s company.

And that was the second sign something was off.

***

The third sign that something was off – ignored exactly like the previous two ones – came once the two arrived at the arcade floor.

“Okay, what do you think should we hit first?” Asuka took a look around. Shinji hesitated. He was aware that his choice would likely influence the course of this d-time together. So he started weighing his options, his stomach clenching slightly.

Asuka caught his troubled expression. _‘Oh. There we go. All right, better luck next time.’_

She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards some racing game. “Haven’t seen this one last time. Let’s try it… and let’s see how all this time in simulators improved your reflexes.”

Shinji, startled by this sudden interruption of his pondering, followed.

“And don’t hold back, if I find you did, I **will** kill you.”

Shinji nodded and regained his ability to speak: “Asuka, I don’t have to hold back, you’re better anyway. But don’t worry, I won’t make it easy for you.”

“Damn right I’m better” she grinned, taking the red #1 seat. “Come on!”

Shinji put a coin in the game and took his #2 place.

***

_Two minutes later_

“ **You bastard!** Cutting in my way like this? I’ll show you!”

***

_Twenty minutes and several more coins later_

“Well, that was fun” Asuka stretched. Shinji did his best not to look; it was not hard, he practiced this skill on hard mode already – with Asuka in her plugsuit. “Thank you”, she smiled. “What now?”

Shinji hesitated only for a second. “Are you hungry?”

“Mm… trying to get me fed so my reflexes are dulled? Fat chance, Third. Not yet. I want to beat you in something else” she smirked.

“They have some shooters here”, Shinji suggested.

“Blah” Asuka stuck her tongue out with disgust. “Don’t you have enough of that in combat simulator?”

“Point taken. Air hockey?” he tried again.

“They have this here?” she asked with surprise. “All right, it’s been a while, but get ready to have your ass handed to you” she grinned.

***

“Asuka…” Shinji started in his usual vein when they reached the food court after a hard-won Asuka’s victory. Winning 4:3 in matches could not exactly be described as ‘ass-handing’ victory – but was still a victory.

“Mm? Whaf if it?” she asked, swallowed, and corrected herself. “What is it?”

“What’s the t-shirt about?” he blurted out a question. “Is it something about your Eva?”

Asuka blinked at him several times. _‘Seriously? He must be joking…’_

She put the half-eaten burrito down, wiped her hands, and pulled at the t-shirt, making the picture on it straighter – and making Shinji avert his eyes for a second. The shirt was a pretty standard – if a tad worn out – Iron Maiden merchandise, with band’s name in their iconic font on the top and a variation on Eddie’s face; this particular one had Eddie grinning – not that he had much choice – from a mostly red background and reaching with a clawed hand for some guy in VR helmet.

“This, idiot-Shinji, is not about my Eva. Not all I do is about piloting, you know?” she noted dryly, trying not to think how much a lie has that recently become. “This is about a certain band I love and whose concert I went to, after much pleading with Misato and making her lie to several people, when I was ten – lucky me I was tall for my age – and they were on a tour in Germany when they were promoting their ‘Flames of Antarctica’ album.”

Shinji blinked. “Oh. I thought-”

Asuka’s eyes narrowed. “What **exactly** were you thinking?” she inquired, leaning towards him.

Shinji’s brain was trying to calculate whether this was the moment to trigger the fight-or-flight response. The lizard part of the brain was saying that the imminent threat had not finished her easily accessible food yet, so the risk of an attack on him was lightly mitigated. On the other hand…

“I’m waiting… and it better not be something inappropriate, Mr. Ikari, or I’ll brutally force you to buy me a milkshake as a punishment for your insolence!”

Shinji shook his head. His brain took it as a cue to reboot, leaving Shinji to run on instinct for a moment.

“Insolence is your thing, Asuka, not mine” he blurted out. “I just thought the shirt was your way of saying ‘I’m a maiden made of iron and don’t touch me, or you’ll look like the guy on the shirt’”.

Asuka, who was just nonchalantly taking a sip of her soda, narrowly avoided spraying it on Shinji. Luckily for her, a coughing fit covered her surprised reaction. _‘What was **that**? Is this Shinji talking, or has some alien just hijacked his body? And what makes him think I would… Oh, yes, “murder you inventively” line… right. Well, he’s learning, that’s for sure… and well, technically I am a maiden.’_

“Asuka! Are you all right?” his concerned voice reached her finally over the coughs and thoughts. She noticed that he was no longer seated before her – he was standing next to her, his warm hand on her shoulder.

“I’m… I’m fine” she managed. “Sorry, went down the wrong hole”, another cough followed. _‘Err wrong joke, backtrack, backtrack!’_

Shinji visibly relaxed and slowly returned to his seat. _‘Phew. Went over his head. And was it my imagination, or was he reluctant to take that hand away?’_

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart that was suddenly racing, surely only from the coughing fit.

“Yes, I’m all right” breath in, breath out. “And no, this was not a warning. You just touched me and you’re alive, right? It’s just a band, and I like it, so I wore the shirt, that’s all. And how come you don’t know about them?” she abruptly changed the subject.

“I… They’re not Japanese or American, right? I don’t know much about foreign music, except what’s played around in radio or TV. I’m more familiar with classical music.”

“They’re British. Oh boy, you’re getting an education as soon as possible. I’ve got all their albums, and some are on a cassette that’ll surely fit that old player of yours”, Asuka grinned. “I will not d-” she bit her tongue, her brain adjusting on the fly. “I will not allow this degree of ignorance to persist when I can help it!” she exclaimed, picking up the burrito and biting into it aggressively.

Shinji just nodded. His brain just noticed that his user was both alive and still talking to the girl that was just regarded as a potential mortal threat and turned the urgency of the suggested responses down a notch.

***

Shinji’s wrist found itself in a grasp of Asuka’s warm hand for the nth time today. He did not object, but instead fought down a moment of panic when he realised she was pulling him towards a movie theatre, while simultaneously scanning the posters.

He knew it could end up very badly. With his heart pounding, he awaited the sentence – and, likely, the instant execution.

***

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Asuka hissed.

“Paying for the tickets?” he replied with confusion.

“You paid the cars and the food, I paid the air hockey, so I’m paying the tickets, right? It’s only fair. This is not a date, remember?”

“But-” he tried to protest.

“No ‘buts’. And no funny ideas” she bared her teeth in a fascinating mix of smile and threat.

Shinji’s brain took the recommendation of the lizard brain and passed it along with its stamp of approval. It was only one word: **YIELD**.

He thought it prudent to follow this advice.

***

_Later Sunday evening_

Asuka finished eating and licked the jam off her fingers; Shinji felt a sudden, conflicting needs: both to stare and to look away. He also realised that, for some inexplicable reason, he was blushing.

“Hey, idiot” Asuka prodded. “You there? Base Langley to Shinji Ikari, do you copy?”

Shinji shook his head and focused on the half-smiling, half-smirking face five centimetres from his own. “Yes?” he blurted out.

“Eloquent as ever. Let’s verify something. Had fun?” she poked him in his chest. “Was today fun?”

“Y-yes, Asuka” he stammered out. “Yes” he reasserted. “Thank you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t do it for you, idiot. I was testing a theory. Or checking a gut feeling, I don’t know. And you’ve been helpful.”

His heart sank, and clouds began to gather. For a short moment, he thought she cared. But no – he was right, this was some kind of game, some kind of cruel-

His train of thought was interrupted by Asuka asking a question. It was so unexpected, so absurd, that his brain rejected the input on the first try. He blinked in utter confusion.

“Hey, idiot, are you listening? I asked if you wanted to kiss”, Asuka reasserted and this time, his brain processed it – just with a note of ‘certainly a trick’. Still, he could not help but nod. Her face was serious, her hands on her hips challenged him, but her eyes… there was something in them, something that made him less afraid.

“Heh. Not the enthusiasm I expected, but hey, I can understand why you’re being shy – you’re facing **me** ” she smirked and stepped closer; now not only her face was centimetres away from him, but her whole body as well. He did his best not to think about it too much. He registered a movement of her hands, but before he could react – duck, most likely – he had Asuka’s hand on his neck and he felt a pull. Half a second later he felt her lips on his own.

His brain took the tactile input and decided once more it was not only improbable, but simply impossible. Still, it was coming through most of his senses: he saw her face next to his own, he smelled a soft smell of strawberry he came to associate with Asuka long ago, he tasted the same smell on her lips, and – most importantly – he felt her soft lips on his own. The auditory impressions were somehow odd, until he realised it was the thumping of his own heart and sound of his own blood rushing. All in all, the input was so overwhelming that rejecting it was impossible. So, his brain threw an exception, terminating the thought processes entirely.

Asuka broke the kiss for a moment. “This is not a date, so this is not a kiss, so, whatever you do or don’t do, I will not kill you… unless you do something really stupid”, she whispered in a husky voice, tinged with several undertones Shinji could not fully decipher; it sounded like amusement, hope… maybe a hint of fear? Her words managed to break him out of the stupor, and his instinct took over. He reluctantly embraced – or not-embraced, in the line of thinking suggested by Asuka – her, pulling her closer. Asuka smirked again and resumed the kiss, pushing him towards the wall, shielding his head from the impact with her forearm. The cold, wet concrete under his back helped him regain some more contact with reality.

Not that it helped much. Shinji, while ineptly responding to Asuka’s kiss, was just moments from passing out. It was a girl of his dreams, in his arms, kissing him! Or not kissing him, if he was to believe her words. It felt both very real and extremely surreal at the same time.

Fortunately for his consciousness – and, likely, dignity – she ended the kiss before he actually lost consciousness. He refocused his blurry vision on her face; she certainly looked content now, almost like a cat that just ate a lot of cream.

“Haah. For something that was not a kiss, that was nice, eh?” she smirked and licked her lips subtly. Shinji kept blinking in confusion. Asuka grabbed his wrist with a practiced move, sending another jolt to his nerve system. “Come. Misato will ask stupid questions anyway, but I want to avoid her worst if we are late” she pulled him down the street. “Come on!” she insisted in a slightly annoyed voice.

He obeyed and got essentially dragged back to the apartment. To their good fortune, Misato was indeed there – snoring heavily on her futon. The smell of alcohol was obvious. Under other circumstances, Shinji would be disappointed with her; this time, his mind was elsewhere.

***

Shinji was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about what has happened today and about Asuka’s parting words: “Well, I hope that this was not the last good time we had. Thanks, idiot.” She was still calling him ‘idiot’, but she was smiling, genuinely smiling… and she sounded really happy.

Shinji Ikari was desperately looking for an answer to the question that has plagued him for the last few days: ‘w _hat the hell is going on?’_

But this time, contrary to the post-date nights, the confusion was mixed with a rare warm feeling. Something was right, and he was feeling fine.

It was such a rare feeling for him that it actually scared him. Was he allowed to be happy?

***

Asuka was in her bed as well, clutching the pillow, as she had a habit of doing. This was a great day… but it left her in some confusion. Well, a lot of confusion. _‘Could it have been so simple all the time? If so, how could I have missed it?’_

She followed her intuition – which finally, after several stumbles, started to give her useful advice – and took the lead. It actually went against anything she was taught, anything she had read about in magazines or watched on TV, but it actually **worked**. And well, as her tactical training went, if procedures failed to work but improvisation, adjustment, and logic did, you went with them until a better procedure was devised.

She stretched and took a deep breath. Her thoughts went back to the beginning of the not-a-date; the first part of the idea was to deny it was a date, lest he runs away. The other part was to take the lead every time he hesitated.

And it worked.

She had fun, and by the looks of it, he had some fun as well. The movie was fine, even if more than a little stupid and unrealistic. And she could not forget the relief in his eyes and the smile he gave her when she simply said ‘hey, this one sounds like fun, let’s go see it’. He agreed immediately, despite never mentioning anything about enjoying action flicks.

And then she kissed him. And even made him respond. She giggled at that memory. Of course, she was denying it was a kiss, just as she denied this was a date. This was such a blatant lie she could not believe it would ever work… but he went along with it. And he was not exactly the most adept in his attempts. But it did not matter, it was… pleasant.

_‘I wonder… Is he really so stupid, or did he just need the pretence? All it took was to take the need to decide from him and suddenly he’s a good company?’_

She sighed. This was, of course, not the ideal situation. While she refused to admit it to anyone, sometimes even herself, she did secretly want to be swept away by the Prince on the White Horse that would kiss her senseless and love her forevermore. Shinji was as far from this fantasy as possible. Well, he did wear white shirts, but that was about it. He would not sweep her away, and while, in foreseeable future, perhaps she could make him kiss her senseless, she was certain it would take a lot of lessons.

About the last part, loving her, she dared not to think yet. It could simply hurt too much.

_‘Hell… maybe I’m too old for fantasies? Maybe time to grow out of them has come? If this idiot didn’t try to apologise for his very existence, it’d be easier…’_

She raised her eyes to the heavens and spoke in a hushed voice: “God above… I know we’re not at best of terms, and I am kind of angry with you still… but if this is your way of making it up to me, it’s a good one. But if it’s some test, and it all comes down crumbling on my head… I swear to you, I am going to snap.”

She pondered for a moment.

“Amen?”

 


	5. “Want to watch?”

_Weekday evening_

There was a soft knocking on Shinji’s door. He raised his head from a manga he was reading: “Yes?”

Asuka’s head popped in. “Hey, idiot. ‘Top Gun’ is on TV. Want to watch it… together?” she finished with only a hint of hesitation.

Shinji blinked. His brain – forced to change the paradigm in several ways in the recent two weeks and repeatedly convinced to abandon the autopilot – was slow to react to this still unusual stimulus. Fortunately for him, Asuka was adapting to that behaviour of his, even if it was trying her patience more than a little bit.

After a few long seconds, he nodded and rose from the desk. “Thank you for thinking of me, Asuka”, he smiled carefully.

“Whatever”, she shrugged. “It’s more fun to have someone to cu-” she backtracked, seeing Shinji’s surprised face. “To listen to my insightful comments.”

***

“Hey, idiot, what do you think you are doing?” Asuka asked from the couch, eyeing Shinji menacingly.

“Pulling a seat for myself?” Shinji replied, confused by the look she gave him; it made him feel as if he had just been accused of some heinous – or at least highly embarrassing – crime.

“It’s cold here. And you are warm. You’re not hogging all that warmth to yourself” she growled. “Come here, this couch is big enough for two”, she patted the spot next to her. “That was an invitation to watch it **together** , in case you didn’t listen.”

His brain threw another exception. Fortunately for him, since the strangest not-a-kiss-but-a-kiss he experienced a few days ago, he learned to catch and handle them without running away. He pushed the beanbag back into the corner where it belonged and sat on the couch next to the now-grinning redhead. It still seemed a little bit surreal – but activities like watching a movie in Asuka’s company recently stopped feeling like a danger. Actually, being in Asuka’s company stopped feeling like a danger as well.

His brain remained sceptical and vigilant, though; its doubts were confirmed seconds later when he almost jumped when Asuka’s hand wormed its way between his back and the couch and circled his waist; next thing he knew, Asuka cuddled to his side. “!” he squeaked.

“I told you I was cold. I didn’t invite you here just to take space, air, and listen to my intelligent and insightful commentary. Don’t be selfish, Third, share the heat” she demanded. “Unless you object?” she asked, pausing, raising her head, and looking him in the eye from a distance small enough that he felt her breath on his face. To his surprise, he found this situation pleasant, if a little scary.

He shook his head, unable to respond verbally. Her hand was burning him. To his further surprise, this sensation was just as pleasant as Asuka’s closeness.

“Good boy” she grinned and tightened her grip. “And relax!” she ordered in a slightly annoyed voice. "I’m not holding a knife or anything else in that hand, idiot.”

Shinji complied the best he could. His brain, confused by the fact that its user was still alive despite being in close contact with a ferocious and extremely dangerous creature, started to review its reaction once more.

***

“Asuka…”

“Mrblg.”

“Asuka… Wake up, I can’t carry you to the bedroom and Misato may be back soon.”

“F-what, you say I’m too heavy?” she instantly snapped back to consciousness with a hint of anger in her voice.

“Nnno I just-”

Asuka rolled her eyes, looked at him as if she questioned his intelligence, and sighed. Then, she relaxed, closed her eyes and stretched with a soft, short purr. Shinji felt an inexplicable urge to scratch her behind her ear or on her neck – and to kiss her to check whether she had grown whiskers and fangs. He also knew that to do that would be to invite death and destruction.

“Damn. I missed the ending, didn’t I?” Asuka realised after opening her eyes and seeing some late-night talk show on screen.

“Yes, sorry, you fell asleep-”

“And you didn’t wake me up. Idiot” she grumbled groggily. “Nah. Never mind. I’m going to bed” she continued before Shinji could react and apologise once more.

She collected herself from the couch and took a few steps towards the bathroom door. Shinji tracked her movements with a soft smile on his lips that he hid quickly when she abruptly stopped and turned around.

“Third…” she started.

“Yes?” he straightened himself. She rolled her eyes.

“When will you learn that I am not going to kill you, idiot?” she sighed. “Never mind. Thanks for the company, I wasn’t cold for once” she smirked.

“Y-you’re welcome”, Shinji managed to stutter out. He still was trying to understand the mixed – in his perception – messages he was getting. The fact that his brain was busy took his ability to react to what happened next.

Asuka crossed the few steps distance between them in a single, long step and planted a soft kiss on his lips, only to retreat with a warm smile. “Goodnight, Shinji.”

Then, she turned and walked towards the bathroom.

Shinji sat there for a long while, replaying that moment in his mind. Not the kiss: it was, of course, a minor shock to his system, but it was not the strangest thing. The strangest thing was the smile. _‘I think I saw_ _her smile like this only once before, after the last date… no, not a date, we were just hanging out together, right?’_

He had to admit that while he still did not understand what was going on, he really enjoyed the thought of Asuka being happy.

And he **really** liked that smile.

***

Asuka giggled when she realised Shinji was still where she left him. She moved in for a tease or a jab, only to realise he had fallen asleep. She stopped for a moment, facepalming, then went to her room, emerging with her spare blanket. “Don’t you dare catch a cold, idiot, that’d mean no good food for a day or two”, she grumbled silently, carefully wrapping him. But even her brain, despite being used to great degrees of self-deception, had trouble buying this as the only reason. She shook her head, resolving not to think about it too much. She went back to her room and started her pre-sleep routine.

Suddenly, between brushing her hair and taking her robe off, she stopped. _‘Damn, I can’t let him think too much…’_

She quickly scribbled a note – in English, to avoid any possible misunderstandings and save time – and left it tucked into the blanket. Satisfied with the disclaimer, she was finally able to go to bed.

***

Shinji woke to a beep and a hiss. Few seconds of disorientation allowed him to realise where he was and that it was most likely Misato returning. He sprang up, tangled himself in a blanket that should not have been there, and tumbled down from the couch. His attempts on untangling himself were loud, only half-successful, and ended abruptly when he heard Misato’s stern and collected voice.

“Whoever you are, step out with your hands where I can see them.” The sentence was accompanied by the unmistakable click of her gun’s safety.

“Move!” came a hushed, but stern command.

“Mi-misato, it’s me” he managed to stutter undignifiedly from the floor. “I can’t move right now, but if you would help me…”

He noticed a dark silhouette move into his field of view, illuminated by the still-on TV screen. She was still aiming in his general direction, at least until she realised what she was seeing. “Shinji! Are you all right?” she moved closer, still scanning the area, but now moving her aim over him.

“Yes… I just fell, please, don’t shoot anyone…” Shinji made another effort to untangle himself from the blanket he did not remember being wrapped in when he was falling asleep. “There’s no one else in the apartment but us and Asuka” he reassured her.

Misato eyed him carefully while replacing the safety and putting her gun back into its holster. “What happened?” she asked, kneeling next to him.

“I don’t know, I think I fell asleep on the couch… and when you entered, I panicked and fell…” he explained, his embarrassment growing with every word.

Misato blinked, then smiled. “What were you watching that you panicked?” she asked half-suspicious, half-amused.

“N-nothing, I was asleep!” he defended himself meekly, his ears turning red again.

Misato giggled. “Don’t worry, I’m not suspecting you of watching anything dirty. Although I would not be surprised. Let me help you…” she finally released him from a surprisingly well-done wrap and tossed the blanket to the couch. “Go to bed properly, will you?” she smiled at him, doing her best to hide her exhaustion.

“Y-yes, Misato. There’s food for you in the kitchen if you want to eat” he reasserted himself once on his feet again.

“Thank you, Shin-chan, this is exactly what I need”, she smiled. “Now, off with you, you have school tomorrow!”

Shinji nodded and obeyed. Misato sighed and made her way to the kitchen, stopping in her room only to drop the weapon and her jacket. This has been a long day with unexpected stress spike at the end, but it was finally over, granting her a right to some drink.

***

_Next day, early morning_

Shinji Ikari left his room in the grey light of the rising day. He was still groggy from the disruption of his routine that took place last night, but it did not stop him from being the first to rise. Asuka has always had tendencies to sleep in, and Misato… well, alcohol made her mornings an exercise in suffering most of the time.

He glanced on the couch, left untouched after the incident. Memories flooded back, making him smile. Reflexively, he started to tidy the place up.

_‘Wait… this doesn’t belong here’_ , he realised while folding a blanket. _‘It’s Asuka’s…’_

His eyes fell on a note on the floor. He picked it up and realised it was in English – and, more importantly, in Asuka’s handwriting.

_“Hey, idiot. You fell asleep, and I’d hate to eat takeouts or Misato’s stuff for the next few days if you catch a cold. So, have a blanket and a) don’t forget to return it in a pristine state, b) don’t overthink it.”_

There was something else on the bottom, in far smaller cursive, written hastily: _“Thanks for the company.”_ It was followed by something that could have been an “I”, but it was stricken out.

Shinji took a deep breath. His brain did not know what to think of it; despite a clearly aggressive tone, the note felt very warm to him. He smiled, folded it carefully, and tucked it into his pocket. _‘I’ll think about it later. Now, bathroom and breakfast’_ he decided after making the couch presentable.

***

Some fifteen minutes later, Asuka emerged from her room. A sight of the couch in perfect order made her stop. _‘Fuck. I left that stupid note, didn’t I?’_ She gritted her teeth. _‘Why, why, wh-’_

“Oh, good morning, Asuka”, Shinji smiled at her from the kitchen. “Slept well? Breakfast will be ready in a moment, you may want to hurry with your bathroom turn. Misato’s not up yet.”

This time, it was Asuka’s brain that refused to cooperate. _‘He’s smiling. At me. At the morning, murder-the-world me. And I **like** that smile.’_ She suddenly realised her face was rapidly turning red enough to match her hair.

Mumbling something unintelligible, she rushed to the bathroom, door slamming behind her. Shinji blinked, then shrugged and returned to his cooking.

***

Locked in the bathroom, Asuka was staring at her own reflection, her mind racing.

“Soryu. What have you done?” she half-whispered, half-shouted at the mirror. The mirror, to benefit of her sanity, did not answer.

“And, more importantly, what are you going to do with it?” she kept going, still without a reply.

“How do you feel about that boy?” she asked the third question, her whispering voice breaking, tears forming at the brink of her eyes.

There was no verbal reply, of course. But her own expression gave her all the answer she needed.

“Fuck. Me.”

She let out a short, hysterical laugh. A few tears fell, wetting her face.

“I did this to myself. Let’s face it: I did it to myself… I fell for him, and I can’t be sure whether he fell for me or is just swimming with the current. Now I have to make it work. Or die trying.”

She gritted her teeth and started her morning routine with an intent to get through it as quickly as possible.

Leaving, she gazed into the mirror once more. “Oh, and **how** will I make it work! Just you wait, Shinji Ikari!”

Her head raised high, she marched out to face her not-sure-what-he-is-to-me-but-I-like-him-I-guess, who was just in the middle of serving the breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an end of this story, but this is not the end of their story. As Two Souls storyline progress, the events there will influence Asuka, Shinji, and their not-sure-what-it-is relationship. I intend to have at least one longer interlude somewhere down the line, or several shorter ones.


End file.
